It isn’t our position, but our disposition that makes us happy. Remember, some people freeze in the winter. Others ski. A positive attitude always creates positive results. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - John Mason
Successful negotiation requires positive energy and the creation of an environment that encourages cooperation. The attitude with which you enter a negotiation and the energy you diffuse plays a determinant role in that negotiation’s success. Positive energy increases your level of confidence and your capacity to absorb stress, makes you more influential, and opens your mind. People will also be friendlier if you adopt a positive attitude.
A negotiator will generally make fewer mistakes when their mind is positively charged, and they feel empowered. Negativity narrows their focus and tends to aim it in the wrong direction (often at themselves)
Given the importance of negotiation in our lives and especially when doing business, the question we must ask is: What are the qualities that make some negotiators more effective than others beyond age, sex, status, education, motivations, and even intelligence?
Are there any other basic character attributes negotiators should develop or that should be highlighted? The answer is yes, and these are some of the most important
Regardless of how easy it is to send an instant message or how tight the agenda or the budget may be, a well-aware negotiator should continue giving importance to face-to-face meetings for better negotiation outcomes. Otherwise, one would be underestimating human nature.
Here are five good reasons a negotiator should give importance to face-to-face negotiations and incorporate it in their negotiation strategy.
To transcend initial rejection and overcome obstacles, a skilled negotiator must engage their creativity and generate ideas. Negotiation is a conflict of interests where gaps must be bridged, discrepancies ironed out, and accord reached. Creative negotiators can best generate solutions. Here is why and how.
Stress is on the rise in the modern World.
Everywhere negotiators are facing increasing stress levels at work (20% increase in the last 3 decades according to research). The recent pandemic has unfortunately not improved the situation.
A bit of stress is not entirely bad. It helps us go through adversity, face challenges, regain focus, etc. Astronauts and elite athletes train under stress to perform and respond better. However, too much of it will impair one’s performance as a negotiator.
Developing strategic brand partnerships is key to growing a business. There is a limit to what corporations can do or achieve by themselves. Getting a strategic partner on board can help them to go further or faster.
Brand partnerships have to create extra value. 1+1 should equal 3 and not 2. This is a basic principle.
Here are 5 steps on how to establish successful brand partnerships based on experience…
Evolving in The Modern World offers many great opportunities with great advancements, but also presents many challenges for negotiators. One of them is the fact that technologies context, rules, goals are changing all the time, which requires a high level of adaptability.
Disruption is not new, but the speed, complexity and global nature of disruption is at a scale we’ve never seen before.
The problem is that we are not necessarily wired to change (and even less to change quickly).
Few people spend enough time preparing for negotiations. Most just fit this into their commute to the meeting point and rely on their expertise to compensate.
Humans over-estimate their capabilities (including performing at negotiation) and focus on short-term problems but not distant ones. Contrary to what we think, planning ahead is not necessarily encoded in our genes.
The consequence is that we end up reacting to events with insufficient information rather than anticipating them
While providing negotiation training in Singapore and the rest of Asia, I often come across two important misconceptions about negotiation. Human beings like to take shortcuts and these misconceptions are two of them.
The first misconception is the belief that negotiation equals persuasion. People like to assess an ability to negotiate based on levels of persuasion. It is a mistake.
There is no doubt that persuasion forms part of negotiation but negotiation is much more than persuasion. It is not just a verbal game, a debate of ideas or proving the superiority of an intellect.
The frame of negotiation, meaning preparation, trust, rapport, and the environment you create around negotiation, is as important if not more than a sales pitch or an offer.
As Robert Cialdini put it once “you have to be a skilled gardener “to perform high at negotiating.
You have to create an environment and a state of mind that makes people receptive to your ideas.
If you prepare the ground well, then you will be more persuasive.
The second misconception is to think that a skilled negotiator can enter any deal or persuade anyone, including the most deceptive people.
Again, I think that this is a mistake.
Why would you enter a deal if you see red flags? Why would you accept some conditions that could put you at risk? Why would you enter a negotiation if trust is not present?
Deserting a position and leaving the negotiation table is not necessarily a sign of weakness.
And if you look at the best negotiators, they were not able to convince anyone all the time. What made them actually successful is not only their ability to persuade but also their ability to navigate by being intuitive and adaptive, including finding shelter in a creek to avoid the damages of a storm.
Refining your negotiation skills starts by overcoming these two misconceptions.
As an advocate for gastrodiplomacy and an organiser of exclusive dinner events, I love to see France’s culinary traditions promoted.
French President Emmanuel Macron announced yesterday the creation of center of excellence for gastronomy to promote French cuisine in international competitions.
How many hearts have we won serving the most exquisite dishes? France has been using its gastronomy as a tool in international relations for centuries. The art of serving delicate and appetizing food has long been a way for the French to showcase their know-how and excellence.
A bad reputation will always precede you. If you come to the negotiation table with a bad reputation, your counterpart will rightly be on the defensive despite considering a deal with you. Counterparts will be cautious and less inclined to make concessions. A good reputation brings more business and better business referrals. I personally prefer doing business and negotiating with people who have a positive record for generating money not only for themselves, but also for their partners. These are win-win partners.
Along with meditation, visualization techniques can be useful to negotiators. They improve creativity, confidence, and focus. Visualization basically consists in mapping your mind through a repeated projection of images and positive energy. These are things you want to happen and you believe in. It’s like working on a puzzle with the advantage of already knowing how the puzzle will look like when completed.
Most people are risk sensitive, especially when they are pushed to make a choice and money is involved. This sensitivity is fuelled by the attention we develop for negative aspects of things and bad news. The feeling of pain is also greater than the pleasure of gain.
If given a chance at an opportunity with a high potential payoff but an uncertain outcome, most will choose to stay home.
NAASE sat down with Ludovic Tendron, author of The Master Key: Unlock Your Influence & Success in Negotiations and founder of his consulting firm Ludovic, to interview him about the art of negotiating. The interview is below,
1. In a typical scenario, we (the seller/ product or service provider) have a given price of $100,000. The buyer/prospect has said that their budget (??) is $80,000. Both sides appear to want to work together on the project/offering. From the seller side, how do we avoid just doing the typical “split the difference” tactic of price negotiation- which in this case would be a 2nd offer of $90,000? In many cases, that price reduction will drastically effect our compensation/commission on the deal.
Assuming that the product or service is competitive and adds value to buyers. I would consider the following action plan:
First, I would have prepared well to address this type of issue. By preparation, I mean anticipating rather than reacting, building rapport, mapping the terrain, collecting information, identifying leverage, having negative emotions under control (including despair which can sometimes infect salespeople). Many people limit negotiation to a verbal game and persuasion. This is a mistake. Gaining trust is key. Some people pitch a sale without making this effort. I like this quote from Zig Ziglar: “If people like you, they will listen to you, if they trust you, they will do business with you”. With trust, the counter-part can go the extra mile more easily.
I would then use empathic intelligence to solve this issue. Most of us like to think we are great listeners and fabulous empathizers. Rather we don’t listen enough and we often don’t ask the right questions. The seller should put himself in the shoes of the buyer and try to understand where their resistance is coming from. Very often, people resist because they see a risk for themselves or the corporation they represent. Your role as a seller is to clear the risk from the table of negotiation.
To transcend rejection and overcome obstacles, the seller must engage their creativity and generate ideas. Creative negotiators can best generate solutions when they are not singularly focused on their own needs and instead looking at mutually beneficial outcomes. Can comfort be provided to the buyer another way? What about terms of payment, free service or product, easy contract exit, etc.
The seller should also have a long-term approach and take a step back. Is the effort they are about to make worthwhile? Is it going to bring more opportunities and business in the future? Will making more money now prevent them from building worthwhile relationships? Rational people play the long-term game. Irrational people try to make quick money and let themselves be controlled by their emotions.
Finally, the seller has to avoid putting the buyer on the defensive making them feel they are not deciding for themselves, or that you know better than they do. Such attitude naturally raises defenses. People like to have a high opinion of themselves.
2. When and how and why should we be fully honest and transparent with a prospect/ client? Where does honesty come into play with negotiation?
It is a dilemma for all negotiators.
We have an ability to cooperate, but also to manipulate without using force. In human nature, the ability to manipulate developed after the use of language in order to compete for resources and mates without fighting. We are still wired the same way. Deception is in human nature.
We lie (sometimes without noticing it) on average one or two times a day and negotiation is not an exception. We do it most of the time by omission (e.g. hiding a piece of information). We find all kinds of excuses to justify it: “I didn’t know it was important”, “I don’t know this person enough”, etc. We try to keep a self-image of someone reasonable and respectable.
The lure of power, money, and benefits, as well as conflicts of interest, the need to protect our interests, lead us to lie.
At the same time, we cannot be an open book. If we had to tell everyone the complete truth all the time, we could hurt people or get hurt (imagine telling a counter-part they are not really smart). We have to be strategic about the information we disclose.
I personally think that there will always be a conflict in us at some point between protecting our interests and being 100% honest. Having said that, integrity pays off better. As Francois de Caillieres, French diplomat said “what you obtain through deception rests on unsecure foundations. A lie will always leave a drop of poison behind”.
3. What key phrases are said by a client/prospect which all but proves that they have no intention of doing business with you?
Cues are not so much to find in words but in the person’s attitude and body language. People tend to hide behind words although they can occasionally be betrayed by some of them (what we call lapsus).
It is easier to fake it with words than with your body. It’s impossible to be conscious of all that our body is doing. That’s where the main key is in my opinion.
It is important to analyze a cluster of gestures and not one specifically, spot incongruences with the words spoken, and take the context into consideration.
Signs of rejections could be expressed with crossed arms (or legs), rolling eyes, lack of eye contact (shifty eyes), sighing, lip licking, head shaking, etc.
If you had to find cues in words, you would think that negative words or expressions would reveal rejection. However, research tell us that half of the words we produce are negative (whereas 30% are positive and 20% are neutral). I would suggest to focus more on positive words or expressions such as “yes”, “great”, “totally agree”, “absolutely” or “right” and their repetition.
4. How important is it to be willing and ready to literally walk away from the negotiating table/meeting? When should that be done? After doing so, what % of deals will still happen?
I never completely walk away from the negotiation table. I always leave the door open but I also clearly communicate my boundaries. I always play the long-term game. Circumstances can change. A counter-part may have overlooked something. A negotiator can be replaced. One may be able to improve a proposal, etc. I am a big believer in the fact that the frame in which you make an offer carries equal or greater weight than the offer itself.
Having boundaries means that you are prepared to make concessions up to a certain point and face the consequences of a no deal if these boundaries are crossed (or likely to be crossed). It means that beyond this point you are better off without a deal. You should try to set your boundaries ahead of negotiation. Negotiators often underestimate this aspect of preparation to negotiation.
It is difficult to come up with a percentage of deals still happening after breakdown of talks, but we can safely say that tactful, creative and patient negotiators are often the best achievers.
5. In an environment where there are typically 4+ decision makers, do we need to negotiate with each of the 4+ people with a say in the decision, or is it only crucial to negotiate with the highest ranking person on their team?
You don’t need to negotiate with all of them but you need to respect all of them (including listening to them when they are given a chance to talk).
Each group dynamic is different, and, when possible, it’s helpful to determine how tasks are divided, who makes the decisions, which members are most influential, and what rivalries might exist or arise. If you develop an eye for group dynamics, you may be able to influence some members of a group to serve your interests. Having a decision maker does not mean that they won’t be influenced by others. Some decision makers are incapable of making decisions alone
You will find the full interview here: https://sales-engineering.org/interview-with-ludovic-tendron-about-negotiating/
It isn’t our position, but our disposition that makes us happy. Remember, some people freeze in the winter. Others ski. A positive attitude always creates positive results. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - John Mason
Successful negotiation requires positive energy and the creation of an environment that encourages cooperation. The attitude with which you enter a negotiation and the energy you diffuse plays a determinant role in that negotiation’s success. Positive energy increases your level of confidence and your capacity to absorb stress, makes you more influential, and opens your mind. People will also be friendlier if you adopt a positive attitude.
A negotiator will generally make fewer mistakes when their mind is positively charged, and they feel empowered. Negativity narrows their focus and tends to aim it in the wrong direction (often at themselves)
Brexit may not appeal to everyone, but it should get the attention of any business negotiator. Imagine the most difficult negotiation UK has ever faced in its history and a complex web of agreements with EU for 45 years, which now needs to be unraveled. By any standard, Brexit is a political nightmare, which will certainly benefit the lawyers who are lucky enough to gain a seat at the negotiating table...
Caught by surprise, the UK has been in a situation where its trade benefits with the European Union can be lost. The consequences may be devastating as British goods and services may become less competitive as a result of higher tariffs imposed on them. Corporations established in the UK might move elsewhere to obtain the benefits of the EU market. Some products, such as medicine, may become difficult to find, houses prices could fall, Scotland may want to remain in the EU...The challenge for the British prime minister and his team is huge...
Smartphones and computers are technologies that have become essential and ubiquitous in nearly every area of life, including negotiation.
With Covid-19, we have become even more dependent on these devices and electronic communication.
There was a time when we had to meet in person (or pick up our phone) and then send a fax for confirmation. Then came emails filling up our inbox and further reducing face-to-face meetings. Now people increasingly use instant messages to negotiate since apps, like WhatsApp, WeChat or Line, can transfer documents. This is not only instantaneous, but also spam free - probably because getting one's email address is more difficult than a personal phone number.
Zoom, Webex Microsoft Teams and other video conference platforms have slightly counter-balanced this trend, but the reality is we have have become electronic negotiators even more.
When I negotiate, I come across a fair bit of deceptive behaviors. It made me wonder if we were all lying or cheating when negotiating. I did some research and realized that we all do. Those who deny this are liars!:-) There are no saints or sinners. We’ve done it and here’s why:
Everyday people cheat and lie to strangers, friends, colleagues, clients and loved ones. It is just human nature. We have the ability to cooperate but also manipulate. Such ability developed after mankind’s use of language with the objective of gaining an advantage in the competition for resources and mates without using physical force. Well, you know what? Times have changed, but we are still programmed the same way.
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